When will you realize you aren’t here forever?

I had a fun April Fools joke planned for today’s note.

That shit is cancelled.

Nipsey Hussle was just shot and killed. I’m listening to his triumphant album, Victory Lap, track number 4 “Young Nigga” on repeat.

“Staring in the space that you fishing for a phrase

Uninspired and your mind, still it’s all a paper chase

First you over dedicate, then you notice that you great

And you been the whole time then it slap you in yo face

Then you stack it in your safe, got it crackin’, it was fate

Now you the definition, nigga, laughin’ to the bank

I’m a master of my fate

Plus I’m the type of nigga own the masters to my tapes”

I’m sick to my stomach from a soft internal whisper that is so much a part of me that it feels like it’s coming from my cells:

“Black boy, you can be killed any day. Be careful out here, black boy.”

The old trauma is thumping inside my body.

That’s why we made Hip Hop. It’s warrior’s music. We use it to push through the trauma.

Love to you Nipsey for being part of the soundtrack of my life, and inspiring me to fulfill my mission. I’m praying for your family, bruh.

I took the weekend off, but I’m back to running my marathon.

I’ll now try to salvage this message.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve had several conversations where people were asking me about how I manage my time. And what they were really asking for was help on how to take more ownership over their time.

I gave them tactics, like create a time budget and stick to it. But the essential question here is “why are you more afraid of what other people think about you than what you think about you?”

We are still out here living for someone else! Trying to avoid someone saying something bad about us because we don’t do what they want us to do with OUR TIME!

I don’t know when I’m going to be called home. But until that moment, I need to do my best to stay healthy and productive. Yes, that includes rest. No, that doesn’t include doing what other people want me to do.

It just keeps coming back to this.

WAKE UP!

Born alone, die alone beloved!

People trying to pressure you to do what they want you to do don’t matter!

YOU DO!

DO YOU!

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