Why can’t we talk about how great we are?
Last Wednesday I had a moment to think about how proud I was of the choices I’ve been making lately, and how they have shown me just how much of a badass I am. I’m showing up in the world in a major way right now. Present, clear-headed, empathetic and focused. The result is that I’m shipping product, losing weight, delivering for my family and my companies, and treating myself well.
I thought to myself, I’m fucking great. Seriously, I’m awesome.
It felt a little weird to say it, but man did it feel right. It felt like the absolute truth. So, just to punctuate it… I sent this text to my therapist ????
Of course, that kicked off a series of conversations with others and culminated with my therapy session on Saturday on this topic. Two things really stuck out.
1) There is a weird thing where we aren’t comfortable talking about how great we are, or giving ourselves permission to give ourselves the things we need and deserve.
2) Narcissists don’t have this issue.
And since I’ve had the unfortunate gift of getting tangled up with narcissists over the course of my life, I started to put these two things together a bit. It’s taken me 43 years to figure out that just because people that I’ve ended up not really respecting (because they aren’t capable of respecting others) constantly talk about how great they are, it doesn’t mean that talking about yourself in a positive way is a bad thing.
Narcissists shouldn’t have a monopoly on saying great things about themselves and looking out for themselves. And… saying that you’re great doesn’t mean that you think you’re better or more important than anyone else. It just means you understand that the words you speak to and about yourself are really, really important. And using uplifting, kind, celebratory ones is probably a good way to live.
In fact, it can keep you safe from those who seek to just take from you. And you better believe those people are out there.
When was the last time you said something really awesome about yourself out loud. DO IT TODAY. DO IT BY YOURSELF AND THEN DO IT IN CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
It’s weird, but it’s worth it. You’re worth it. You’re the best you in the world.