Change is a big damn deal.
I met up with a friend last week who I hadn’t seen in a while. He reads the newsletter, and last week I shared my sadness about the untimely death of Nipsey Hussle. But even prior to that, I’ve been pretty open with y’all on The Grind. It’s just how this has all evolved.
When we talked he said “I’ve been following you on The Grind. You’ve been going through it, huh?”
And I was like, “actually, I’m really good ????”
As we talked about it, we agreed that EVERYONE is “going through it”, it’s just that everyone isn’t talking about it in public. And I get that. But here’s the thing…
While sharing personal feelings may seem hard, it was only hard in the beginning. And it’s not the sharing that’s hard. That actually feels great and really healthy.
It was the change from not sharing to sharing that was hard.
I’ve been thinking lately about how uncomfortable change is, and how much taking the action to change is an act of managing stress and living with discomfort. And how good that is for you.
One of my mentees asked me during our session on Sunday morning “What’s a saying that you live by?” There has only been one saying that’s ever been simple and clear enough for me to live by.
“Mood Follows Action”
There is so much packed in those three words. Think about a time when you were in a really bad mood. If the memory is strong enough, your heart rate might rise, your breath might get short and your muscles might clinch. Mood affects our body. Mood affects our confidence. Mood is powerful.
And as powerful as our mood is, we have a greater power. The power to change it.
We can take actions to alter our mood. For example, we can stop whatever we are doing, and just focus on our breath. By simply doing deep, engaged breathing, we can slow our heart rate, loosen our muscles and make ourselves feel a little bit better.
The more we prove to ourselves through taking action, that we can not only handle change, but that we can catalyze change for good, we develop what might be the most important belief that one can have: self-efficacy.
Self-efficacy is the belief that one has in themselves to achieve goals. We build self-efficacy by taking actions and achieving one small goal after another. After a while, we become certain that it’s time for bigger goals, and our confidence to achieve those goals is half the momentum we need to actually achieve them.
Everything we want to achieve is on the other side of some change we need to make. Most of those changes don’t feel good at first. But that discomfort is a sign that good things are ahead. Even more so if others aren’t willing to make that same change.
Take a small action in an uncomfortable space, today. Then do it again tomorrow. And the next day. Build your momentum.
Claim your agency.