Celebrating the launch of his brand new book, "Great Leaders Live Like Drug Addicts", Michael Brody-Waite joins us to talk about living mask free in this unprecedented moment in time.

This episode hits on:

- How to learn a different way of living
- How to NOT get held back from being successful

Where to watch live:
https://youtube.com/marcuswhitneysvideouniverse
https://facebook.com/marcuswhitney
https://linkedin.com/in/marcuswhitney
https://twitter.com/marcuswhitney

Listen to "Marcus Whitney Live Ep. 9 - Michael Brody-Waite" on Spreaker.

Get The Full Episode Transcription

MW
welcome
00:13
back on the Wednesday
00:15
Marcus Whitney live happy to see you all
00:18
today and really thrilled to have my
00:21
guest
00:22
today this is a good friend and we've
00:24
spent more time than normal together
00:28
over the last couple of months because
00:30
we're both launching books right in the
00:32
same window of time and he just launched
00:35
his book yesterday he is an accomplished
00:39
CEO former CEO and founder of in quicker
00:43
also when the former CEOs of the
00:45
Nashville entrepreneur center and blew
00:49
me out of the water with this TEDx
00:50
Nashville talk he now has the the most
00:52
viewed TEDx Nashville talk in history
00:55
I'm talking about the one the only my
00:57
good friend Michael Brody-Waite… Mike
00:59
what's going on brother?

MBW
what's up man
01:01
I'm like blushing over here so thank you
01:03
for that

MW
yeah man it's great to great to
01:05
have you on the show man how are you
01:06
doing today?

MBW
um today you know we were
01:10
talking about this before like I'm
01:11
excited cuz the books out I'm excited to
01:13
be talking to you I'm also a little sad
01:15
cuz this isn't what I thought it would
01:17
look like when my book would is gonna
01:18
come out but I'm very grateful to you
01:21
know be worrying about things like that
01:23
in a lot of ways

MW
yeah yeah and that's
01:26
that's probably a great segue just to
01:29
give the audience a let's let's maybe
01:32
cap it at five minutes but a great
01:33
background on who you are you have a
01:35
fantastic back story very deserving of a
01:38
TED talk and I'm glad that you wrote
01:41
this book certainly been inspiring one
01:44
of the things I've loved about you is
01:45
you've you've just always been you've
01:47
led with your truth in in every
01:50
interaction that that I've had with you
01:52
and that you've had with the world
01:53
broadly so to say a little bit about
01:55
yourself and then we'll definitely dig
01:56
into your book

MBW
awesome so at the age of
02:00
23 I was hopelessly addicted alcohol and
02:04
drugs every day when I got up that was
02:06
my obsession I didn't care who I robbed
02:08
I didn't care who I hurt I didn't care
02:10
what happened to my body I've been
02:12
kicked out of school kicked out of my
02:13
job kicked out of my house my car got
02:15
repossessed I was throwing up blood and
02:17
I wanted to OD and take myself out
02:20
because I didn't see a way to recover
02:23
and then September 1st 2002 I woke up at
02:27
the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage
02:29
California rehab facility and I learned
02:33
a different way to live... and that way to
02:37
live is a way that I learned it through
02:40
a 12-step program that addicts all
02:43
around the world learn how to stop using
02:45
and that's not special that's not
02:48
different... but what I really have been
02:51
obsessed with is over the years how can
02:53
I take the principles that I learned in
02:55
recovery and apply them to a unique
02:57
place in my professional life as a
02:58
leader I spent eight years in corporate
03:01
America working my way up from a kiosk
03:04
rep in a mall to a corporate leader with
03:07
19 direct reports with no college degree
03:10
with long hair hoop earrings and
03:12
flip-flops from California in the South
03:14
trying to say y'all and butchering it
03:15
like crazy... and and one of the things I
03:19
learned in building my career is I
03:21
thought that practicing what I was
03:23
taught in recovery would make me an
03:24
outsider and hold me back from being
03:27
successful and it did one of those two
03:30
things it made me an outsider… it
03:33
didn't hold me back from being
03:34
successful and if I when I you know one
03:37
of the things I distill this down to
03:38
which is very timely and interesting is
03:40
I believe that all leaders are taught
03:43
that we have to wear a mask now I've
03:45
been saying this before the freaking
03:46
pandemic so I mean a figurative mask
03:49
I've had actually had people be like
03:50
what are you saying people shouldn't
03:51
wear physical mass I'm like no dude like
03:54
I mean figurative a mask but like right
03:56
leaders for centuries have hid their
03:59
true selves in the name of success the
04:01
same way drug addicts hide their true
04:02
cells and the name of the next hit and
04:04
the next high but I think that truly
04:07
great leaders learn how to do what I
04:10
call living mask free and that is
04:12
something that there is only one segment
04:14
of our society that has been rigorously
04:16
trained on how to do this and that is
04:18
recovering addicts and millions of
04:20
addicts around the world have a
04:21
processing system for living leading
04:23
mask free and I thought doing that
04:25
In corporate America would make me a failure and
04:27
it made me the manager of the people
04:29
that were my mentors and it gave me a
04:32
leg up not because I was special but
04:33
because I was working a different set of
04:36
principles that were counterintuitive at
04:37
the time and I left that that job and I
04:41
and I realized that was
04:43
an advantage for me and I
04:45
co-founded and InQuicker, launched a
04:47
company I shouldn't have launched we had
04:49
no capital we had no connections we had
04:52
no patents we had no Ivy League degrees
04:54
we had nothing man but a credit card and
04:57
a hope to reinvent access to healthcare
04:59
and we did that... and when looking back
05:02
the reason that we were successful is
05:03
because we actually built a mask free
05:05
culture we built a culture that was
05:08
similar to the experience that I would
05:10
have in my 12-step meetings and so
05:13
that's why then did the TED talk and
05:14
wrote the book because I realized that
05:16
if people can take the principles that
05:18
addicts have been using for 80 years to
05:20
recover and apply them as a specific
05:23
leadership system to live in lead masks
05:25
free I think you can gain a competitive
05:26
advantage and one of the things I talk
05:28
about is you can reclaim 500 hours a
05:31
year just by living and leading masks
05:34
free in one minute a day using the
05:37
system that addicts used to recover and
05:39
it feels like a secret weapon and so now
05:42
I'm on on a mission and equip this with...
05:45
give everybody that's ever said I can't
05:47
show my true self to be successful in
05:49
the work life my mission is to equip
05:51
them with not just hope and inspiration
05:53
and the what in the why there's a lot of
05:56
people that do that that's great the
05:57
actual how... like no matter what you
06:00
execute this you will be able to fulfill
06:02
the value proposition and so that's why
06:04
I'm here today

MW
06:05
what why do you think that this this way
06:10
of living has only been taught in the in
06:16
the rooms of alcoholics and drug addicts...
06:20
addicts broadly what you know people who
06:23
who are practicing 12-step programs... why
06:26
do you think the... and we and we know that
06:31
those rooms don't have any demographic
06:34
or even sort of psychographic you know...
06:38
or socio-economic
06:40
limits to them right they no touch all
06:42
yeah all ranges of humanity

MBW
addiction
06:47
does not discriminate

MW
right yeah you you
06:49
can end up in those rooms so I think
06:51
when that's the case, I just find it to
06:55
be interesting something that could be
06:56
as universal as addiction, why do you
06:59
think that the the principles and the
07:01
practice have been limited to those
07:03
rooms up until now?

MBW
I think that's a
07:06
great question no one's ever actually
07:07
asked me that so that's that's a great
07:09
question... and I think that the at the key
07:11
it's just
07:12
necessity is a mother of all invention
07:14
and I think that I argue in my book that
07:19
I see a lot of similarities between
07:21
attics hiding their true selves to get
07:24
the next hit and and leaders hiding
07:27
their true selves to get the next
07:28
successful milestone and I think that
07:31
leaders are actually addicted to their
07:33
masks and that's kind of what I argue
07:35
and so at the end of the day one of the
07:38
reasons that addicts use is because they
07:40
want to hide themselves and so we relate
07:42
to the struggle the problem is that when
07:45
the leader hides himself they get a
07:46
promotion when I hide myself as an
07:48
addict I get dead or locked up... and so we
07:52
needed a more rigorous like I mean
07:53
anybody that knows me knows that like
07:55
I'm a huge fan boy a brunet brown like
07:57
you know worship or work but when I read
07:58
her book it really pissed me off when I
08:00
tried to get other people to practice it
08:02
cuz they couldn't do it and so there's a
08:04
big difference between hey you should...
08:05
you know... one of the things we talked
08:07
about in recovery is if it was as simple
08:09
as hey stop using people would just stop
08:12
using I mean if it was as simple as oh
08:14
here's a book with some ideas I'm not
08:16
using people would just stop using you
08:18
need to have a step-by-step system any
08:20
business knows this you need to scale
08:22
your core value proposition through
08:25
process... what we needed the same thing to
08:27
be able to live mask free as recovering
08:29
addicts because if we don't come out
08:30
into the light we die in the darkness
08:32
and we just have a greater incentive
08:34
then I think the rest of the world to
08:36
figure out how to do that through a
08:39
method

MW
that that makes that makes
08:41
complete sense did you have anybody else
08:45
that you know because addiction does not
08:49
discriminate? we know that there are many
08:52
many very very successful
08:53
in the world who are in recovery right
08:56
yes that's not a that's not new
08:58
information for us... was there anybody
09:00
that you sort of looked at maybe when
09:03
you were on your way in a sponsor or
09:06
otherwise that you know sort of showed
09:08
you... wow this way of life cannot only
09:11
saved my life but it actually can lead
09:13
me to have success out in the in the
09:15
greater world you know in the material
09:16
professional world? did you know anything...
09:20
did that connection happen for you?

MBW
09:23
yes and no so I was told that... so I think
09:27
sponsors are the greatest leaders in the
09:29
world,
09:29
and they lead differently than any other
09:32
leader they lead only through their
09:35
experience and they use actually their
09:38
failures more to show you how they lead
09:40
themselves than they do to actually talk
09:43
about their successes right and it's
09:45
just a very different way to lead and...
09:47
and so my first sponsors name was Chuck
09:50
he's in the book and I talked about a
09:52
time where you know I looked up to him
09:53
and I thought he let me down he's like
09:55
dude if you put me up on a pedestal, I'm
09:56
gonna fall right the heck off like yeah
09:58
like what are you doing I told you this
10:00
and so I think that what he shared with
10:03
me was I could do anything I could be
10:07
anything if I could stay clean... and so he
10:10
showed me how to lead myself and that I
10:12
could fulfill my potential but what I
10:13
will say which is why I'm so passionate
10:15
the work I'm doing... nobody ever told me
10:19
that it would go into a specific segment
10:23
of my life my professional life and
10:26
instead of being a stigma it would be a
10:29
superpower no one told me that right no
10:32
one told me like as an addict we're
10:35
taught hey worker program so you
10:37
neutralized the negative no one told me...
10:39
like when I do my thinks in the morning
10:42
I thank God for my addiction before I
10:44
ever start talking about I would go into
10:47
yeah so so the thing for me is is that...
10:50
at the end of the day no one told me
10:53
this there was no model for me that
10:55
being an addict is better than not being
10:57
an addict when it comes to getting
10:58
dedicated to a process of recovery and
11:00
half need to practice that and having
11:01
gaining a professional advantage and so
11:03
that's why I want to shine that light he
11:05
gave me a general promise
11:07
but I wanted to make a specific promise

MW
11:08
yep that make that makes so much sense...
11:12
so, so I think that is probably a really
11:15
good point to shift into your book that
11:18
just launched yesterday so
11:19
congratulations

MBW
yeah thanks man you know
11:21

MW
we both have are crossing the threshold
11:24
of being authors and it's definitely a
11:29
it's a... it's a path you have to earn for
11:32
Sure… there's nothing easy about
11:35
navigating the process of getting your
11:37
thoughts down into however many words
11:40
you know your book of my book are you
11:43
know talk to me about -talk to us- about
11:47
what this book delivers

MBW
before I do that
11:51
I want to talk about Marcus Whitney
11:53
delivers when I, before I was writing
11:56
this book you were working on yours, and
11:59
you were inspiring me and I remember
12:01
asking you how did you get through the
12:04
writer's block? because that was
12:05
something that was really hurting me and
12:06
you gave me a great piece of wisdom but
12:08
someone else gave you and you said ah
12:10
you have to write a couple of bad books
12:11
before you write the good one and you
12:13
said that to me in the board room at the
12:14
EC, I'll never forget it and that was
12:17
something that I carried with me
12:18
throughout this entire process... so I want
12:20
to tell you that you you've helped me in
12:22
this journey so this book essentially
12:26
takes all my frustrations with people
12:29
talking about authentic leadership and
12:30
us not having authentic leaders I mean...
12:32
was the last time you heard a politician
12:33
answer a question with I don't know? like
12:36
Never

MW
that's a different show

MBW
that is a
12:39
different this whole can of worms too... so
12:41
what the book delivers is a step-by-step
12:44
system that allows you to take the three
12:46
principles that I learned in recovery
12:48
and apply them by creating a mask free
12:53
action card that you only have to
12:56
execute in one minute a day and if you
12:58
do that and it's a step-by-step system
13:01
you don't need to think about anything
13:02
if you do that you will reclaim 500
13:05
hours a year and so people think that's
13:07
outlandish well one of the things I talk
13:08
about in the book is that there are four
13:10
masks that are holding back every
13:12
individual team and organization in this
13:14
world and the first mask is saying yes
13:17
when you could say no we spend 31 hours
13:19
a month
13:20
in meetings that are unnecessary alone
13:22
the second mask is hiding a weakness
13:25
when I was in corporate America I spent
13:27
22 hours trying to figure out how to do
13:28
a pivot table in Microsoft Excel when I
13:31
could have spent 10 minutes asking
13:32
someone for help... the third one is
13:35
avoiding difficult conversations not
13:36
asking for what we need from our boss
13:38
for resources or not negotiating the
13:40
contract with a customer or performance
13:41
managing an employee... and the fourth one
13:44
is holding back your unique perspective
13:45
we've all been in a room with 50 people
13:47
and all 50 brains weren't activated only
13:49
the person at the top spoke about the
13:51
blind spot to the potential innovations
13:53
and time is lost in those areas and
13:56
those four masks, 90% of leaders say they
14:00
wear at work so what we do is we take
14:02
them through a process where they
14:03
identify which mask is holding them back
14:05
and then we apply this system of the
14:07
principles that I learned in recovery to
14:09
give them a step-by-step process to take
14:11
that mask off.

MW
man I feel like I'm gonna
14:17
save 500 hours this year just from
14:20
having listened to you over the last one
14:22
minute... that's incredible that you were
14:25
able to distill that you were able to
14:29
steal those principles into quantitative
14:31
story based tips for people... man that's
14:35
just and that's that's really
14:37
straightforward and it is they're
14:38
definitely four things that everybody
14:41
either has struggled with or currently
14:43
does struggle with you know like they
14:44
MIT they may have sort of figured out
14:46
one or two of them but but those those
14:47
four combined you're absolutely right...
14:50
there they're massive time wasters and
14:53
and they also like sell you short you
14:56
know that's sort of the other thing that
14:57
I think is really interesting
14:58
they sell you short from from what
15:00
you're capable of of achieving so wow
15:04
wow that's that's that's incredible
15:07
have you tested out this model with with
15:09
other people

MBW
yeah that's how that's how
15:11
I arrived at it, because what I used to
15:13
do is I would like a company would hire
15:14
me to come speak to them after I sell my
15:16
TED talk and I'll just be like hey dude
15:17
you should do what drug addicts do and
15:19
then like tell him about like crazy
15:21
stories and like expect the change to
15:22
happen... so this has been something I've
15:25
been working on for three years I
15:27
started working on a year before I did
15:29
the TED talk the TED talk was one of the
15:31
manifestations of the work so I've
15:34
just over a thousand leaders... so from the
15:36
boardroom to the mailroom to the class
15:39
room to the living room... large companies
15:42
small companies I've worked companies
15:43
like Google and Global Payments and Dell
15:45
and startups and nonprofits, and I
15:48
created this mask assessment that gives
15:50
you the authenticity percentage that you
15:53
have and then I really started asking a
15:56
bunch of behaviors and the assessment
15:58
used to actually be really complex
16:00
because I thought I had to be complex to
16:01
deliver value and over time I started to
16:04
realize as I started coaching people and
16:06
doing workshops and speaking, that you
16:08
could actually through these assessments
16:09
I think by the time I started assessing
16:10
500 people... I was like crap, there are
16:12
only four masks

MW
hmm Wow

MBW
and you know Don
16:16
Miguel Ruiz wrote The Four Agreements
16:17
and then ten years later he came out
16:18
with a book called the fifth agreement,
16:19
so I might fund the fifth mask somewhere
16:21
you know I'm not perfect, but as I
16:24
started working with people I realized
16:26
that wow I can consolidate this all down
16:29
to four masks... and so what we did was we
16:32
just isolated, that refine the assessment,
16:35
and tested the model and gave it to
16:37
executives at corporations owners of
16:39
companies entrepreneurs like whoever... and
16:42
the thing is that now we've done it for
16:44
a thousand people and they say that they
16:47
resonate with the results and then it
16:48
creates action... one of the things that we
16:51
were taught in recovery is action over
16:54
insight we spent a lot of time thinking
16:56
and talking man, but action is a great
16:59
curator and so that's what I really love
17:03
about recovery so that what we've really
17:04
done is we've simplified it so that
17:06
people can just take that assessment and
17:08
just get off and get off running... I mean
17:11
that we all wear those four masks at
17:12
different times some of us struggle with
17:14
more than others,

MW
so to that end let's
17:18
let's start talking about what we're all
17:21
experiencing today but I want to go back
17:22
to something you started this whole
17:24
conversation with which is... you've worked
17:27
on this you've worked on this project
17:30
for years now,
17:32
you know you've you've put in the work,
17:33
you've done what was necessary to make
17:36
something that was going to really have
17:38
a large impact in the world and then you
17:41
know a pandemic occurred a
17:44
once-in-a-lifetime event occurred and
17:47
the timing is
17:47
such that we are in the thick of it
17:49
right as your book launch has arrived...
17:53
what has that been like for you, and how
17:57
how have you processed that and used,
18:03
used your own process to to be authentic
18:08
in this moment? I mean you know you you
18:11
gave a good example of that in the very
18:12
beginning just talking about some of the
18:13
disappointment and sadness around the
18:15
fact that the launch didn't end up what
18:17
it what you thought it would be... but you
18:18
know there's always sort of that and
18:20
then there's also coming on the other
18:22
side of that that grief in that morning
18:24
and realizing you know the the greater
18:26
opportunity that that you know is a gift
18:29
in that moment you talk a little bit
18:30
about like just what experiences
18:32
feelings you've had through this process?

MBW
18:34
yeah so there's a lot of parallels
18:37
between this process and actually drug
18:39
addiction... so I told you that where I am
18:41
now is I arrogantly believe that God
18:44
created the pandemic just for my benefit...
18:52
and I'm not I'm not lacking sensitivity
18:55
to the challenges for everybody I'm
18:56
impacted too but I'm on I'm on the other
18:59
side and one of the things that addicts
19:01
do is we turn crap in a fertilizer and
19:03
and the thing about a pandemic is now
19:05
everybody knows what it's like to be an
19:06
addict...
19:07
we all are being impacted by a disease
19:10
that is outside of our control that is
19:12
isolating us and changing our lives and
19:14
so for me I have practice in this at the
19:19
same time I had never applied it to a
19:21
situation like this... and so in early
19:25
March was going to be the the beginning
19:27
of our promotion window for the book, and
19:29
I've invested the significant amount of
19:31
the money that I made from so my company
19:33
I've got a lot of stuff on the line I
19:34
got employees I got all this stuff... it's
19:37
also my purpose and my mission and
19:38
something I've been dreaming for years...
19:40
and and right when the promotion window
19:44
was gonna start that was the week that
19:48
COVID became real, when the NBA season
19:51
got suspended... also I'm gonna share this
19:54
here, but there was an a-list celebrity
19:57
that saw my TED talk that wanted to help
19:59
me promote my book,
20:00
and they were one of the first people
20:01
that got COVID. and I was actually
20:04
supposed to go visit them, and they were
20:06
gonna help me promote it and in their
20:07
entire life was different... and so I was
20:10
like kind of going wow this is a
20:11
different world and then I get on a call
20:14
with my team and my PR firm they're like,
20:16
okay all the earned media that we lined
20:17
up is all gone we can't even get you
20:20
know coverage on the election let alone
20:23
your book... and and so I was like oh man
20:27
like the promotion window is gone and
20:30
then that weekend, my wife became
20:34
sick, and then within three days I was
20:38
sick, and due to the spectrum of the
20:40
symptoms that we had in front of ours
20:42
it's a health care provider we were very
20:44
fortunate that we were not our lives
20:46
were not threatened but we both came
20:47
down with kovat and I found myself
20:49
wearing a mask with my team... we would be
20:53
on a call and they'd be and I'd be like
20:54
oh it's gonna be fine we're gonna work
20:55
through this blah blah and meanwhile I
20:57
was like trying to be positive but I I
21:01
didn't fully understand what was going
21:02
on because I was cognitively impaired...
21:04
and and I remember being on a walk with
21:07
my wife where it just hit me all at once
21:09
I was like oh I didn't think about
21:11
this all of our revenue was based on
21:14
speaking engagements for this year... I was
21:15
planning on reinvesting everything from
21:17
the book and and so not only are we not
21:20
gonna get her in media to get the book
21:21
out there that was supposed to drive
21:23
speaking engagements all the speaking
21:24
engagements that we had booked are going
21:26
to be gone. all of our revenue is zero I
21:30
didn't realize that, and I felt like a
21:32
fool because it took me time to realize
21:35
that... but when I realized it I
21:38
immediately started applying the three
21:41
principles that I teach in my book so
21:43
practicing rigorous authenticity is
21:45
identifying the mask on your face and
21:48
identifying which one of those four
21:50
you're dealing with and I was hiding a
21:52
weakness... i as the leader the CEO the
21:55
leader of Inc quicker the leader of the
21:57
EC the leader of the mastery movement
21:59
whatever the author of the book I didn't
22:01
know what to do, and I was hiding that...
22:04
and so I was like okay all right number
22:08
two principle number two surrender the
22:09
outcome that is the biggest principle
22:12
though that everybody struggles with
22:14
you're taught to obsess over outcomes
22:15
right, but we learn in recovery and what
22:20
I teach in this book is surrounding the
22:22
outcome is a step by step process that
22:24
you can do to reclaim a massive amount
22:25
of energy, and so for me it's identifying
22:28
what's the outcome I'm scared of... I'm
22:30
scared that the boat the book won't be
22:32
successful won't make an impact I'll
22:34
have to fire my employees I'll to sell
22:36
my house and I'll risk everything, and my
22:38
biggest fear is from I always teach all
22:42
fears come down to physical death or
22:43
social death... my physical death fear was
22:46
I wouldn't be able to provide for my
22:48
family my social death feel was that I
22:50
was a fool for pursuing my passion
22:54
and that anybody that was like that was
22:56
stupid
22:57
great leaders live like drug addicts
22:59
what do you who the hell do you think
23:00
you are? they would be able to say I told
23:02
you so and so I had to identify that
23:05
outcome and the way that we overcome
23:07
that is we split everything down into
23:09
what I can't control what I can control
23:11
and start listing things out... and so
23:13
literally on this card it's like it's I
23:15
feel like it's a stupidest tool ever
23:16
because it's so simple it's literally
23:18
you write it out but I started writing
23:20
out what I couldn't control and I
23:21
realized I can't control what's going on
23:23
outside, I can't control that I was sick,
23:25
I can't control that I can't control any
23:27
of this stuff I can control whether I
23:30
completely redo my financial model to I
23:33
understand if I can keep employees... to
23:35
understand if I can make the mortgage... to
23:38
understand what can I do to actually get
23:40
this book in people's hands to make an
23:42
impact? and shifting from can't control
23:45
to can't control one of the things that
23:47
I talk about is if you can get rid of
23:49
everything that you can't control and
23:51
you focus exclusively on your “can't
23:52
control” reach you reclaim so much energy
23:54
that you start identifying uncomfortable
23:56
work that you have not been willing to
23:58
Do… I found my uncomfortable work and
24:01
you're gonna laugh at this and it was
24:02
it's stupid
24:04
in some ways building this movement I
24:08
had been thinking about building it
24:11
through the lens of scale because I
24:13
built a software company and then I
24:14
helped software companies build... and so I
24:17
wasn't teaching people this process once
24:20
I started promoting the book… I
24:22
wasn't actually executing what was in my
24:24
freaking book…

MW
I get it… I
24:27
get it man

MBW
I started executing it and
24:30
then you know what? less people are gonna
24:32
buy the book to this week and more
24:35
people's lives are gonna be impacted
24:36
because I actually started doing it and
24:38
that was my uncomfortable work, because I
24:40
was so scared of actually helping people
24:41
and then being scared of having so many
24:43
people that want help that I couldn't
24:44
scale and do it I stopped that I just
24:46
started helping people, and I swear turn
24:48
the frown upside down opportunity start
24:51
showing up I can't believe I just said
24:52
frown upside down
24:53
opportunities start showing up and and
24:56
now like I now I see a future for an
24:59
even stronger movement... I see a future
25:02
for doing virtual speaking so that I
25:03
don't have to be away from my family... I
25:05
see all these wonderful opportunities
25:07
but I had to go through the process
25:08
myself and even recently at one of my
25:12
employees was like “you know, I waited two
25:14
weeks for you to tell me what we were
25:15
gonna do, I wish you had just told me
25:16
that you were working on it and you didn't
25:18
Know… because I'm trying to plan for
25:21
my personal finances and I'm reading the
25:22
news while you're trying to work it out...
25:24
and I was like oh dude this stuff
25:26
is real and I got to do it so that's
25:28
that was a that's recent

MW
holy cow man
25:31
that is a lot that is a lot I feel a lot
25:37
of what you just said I can we talk... can
25:42
we just dig into one thing that you'd
25:44
that you you breeze past but I want to
25:46
drill down into there's a bit of the
25:49
survivor's guilt? because that that's
25:52
in there you know you talked a lot about
25:54
the loss, but also we're all dealing
25:59
with relative levels of loss right
26:03
and I think those of us who still have
26:07
homes and haven't missed meals and, you
26:10
know, are fortunate enough to even be
26:11
able to launch a book even if it's not
26:13
the ideal environment for us right you
26:16
know what I mean there's there's
26:18
something weird about all this... right?
26:21
there's something weird about being able
26:24
to do this when you know so many other
26:26
people are affected at much more
26:30
fundamental levels... and you know we're
26:33
talking about physical death or or
26:37
commercial death you know just in terms
26:38
of like food clothing shelter stuff
26:41
you know... how has it been for you
26:43
processing that, and and and and how and
26:46
how do you how do you associate that in
26:51
the four mask paradigm?

MBW
yeah so it's so
26:56
basically I have two different filters
26:59
that I'm wearing at the same time... the
27:01
first one is I'm grateful that I have
27:03
clean food clean water clean air and
27:06
shelter like I am grateful for that and
27:09
I know that anything above that is gravy
27:11
I also know I was supposed to be dead by
27:12
30 and I'm playing with house money ,so I
27:16
can always go to that place and go you
27:17
know what I'm lucky... at the same time
27:20
pain is relative and I had an
27:23
expectation to worry as much about the
27:26
things I've worried about when I was on
27:27
the street using, and I had this thing I
27:29
poured all his time into and I had to
27:31
deal with the loss of it not working the
27:33
way that I thought. and one of the really
27:36
cool things about survivor's guilt
27:37
or not cool thing but I have a lot of
27:39
experience with survivor's guilt because
27:41
any one of us that are in recovery for
27:43
every one of us there's probably ten
27:46
other people that aren't... and so I
27:49
remember even talking about getting a
27:53
job at Dell, or starting my company, I
27:56
felt guilt talking about that around my
27:59
friends and recovery especially ones
28:01
that were just in off the street the
28:02
ones that were had to get their sheets
28:04
sign to stay out of jail… like whatever
28:05
it is and so I've really had to learn
28:08
that I can have both filters at the same
28:11
time and what end in the for masks like
28:13
I think it comes down to a unique
28:15
perspective I think that those of us
28:18
that are fortunate enough to worry about
28:21
things that are greater than shelter
28:23
food and water and health I think that,
28:26
for me at least I feel the fear of
28:28
talking about this stuff I feel the fear
28:31
of what people will think that I'm not
28:32
I'm not toeing the party line on the
28:35
reality and I'll be called out for XY
28:37
and Z… but but pain is relative it's a
28:40
real thing it's why you see successful
28:42
athletes or CEOs take themselves out.
28:45
they have everything that would you know
28:47
they really want in the world but they
28:49
take themselves out we sell all kinds of
28:51
stuff and so I think for me going
28:54
through this
28:54
no I have a lot of friends in recovery
28:56
that aren't worried about a book they're
28:58
worried about a job they're worried
28:59
about a paycheck they're worried about
29:00
unemployment and one of the really cool
29:03
things about talking to them is my buddy
29:05
Toby, he's sitting there going on
29:08
unemployment worried about all this
29:09
stuff but he's still supporting me
29:10
through my loss of or my challenges of
29:14
how do I deal with this pandemic as it
29:16
relates to the book... because we both know
29:18
it goes unsaid but we both know that
29:21
we're both just lucky to be having this
29:22
conversation... and I think as long as we
29:25
can have empathy for both our past
29:28
selves that's grateful for the basics
29:29
that we have in our life today and for
29:31
what everybody else is going through, I
29:32
think that at the same time I should be
29:34
able to have my you know hold up my
29:36
unique perspective and talk about the
29:38
more advanced challenges that I'm lucky
29:40
enough to have because I'm not the only
29:41
one going through them.

MW
dude thank you
29:45
for thank you for sharing that I that's
29:47
um that's been one of the underlying
29:51
difficulties for me over, really, this
29:56
entire time... it was very clear to me
29:57
early on that this was going to be
29:59
devastating at an economic level
30:01
I knew I was just as vulnerable as
30:03
anybody else was at least in the
30:05
beginning on the health side of things
30:06
when it wasn't sure you know I wasn't
30:08
sure if I was exposed to it... but
30:09
economically you know I knew it was a
30:11
timing issue you know for me one of the
30:13
things that was that was most clear
30:14
about that was I'm on the board of the
30:18
Nashville convention Visitors
30:19
Corporation, and we had a board meeting
30:22
and sort of running through the numbers
30:24
of how how much this had impacted the
30:26
hospitality industry and you know my 20
30:29
years ago when I moved here, I waited
30:31
tables. that was you know that was the
30:34
the free market safety net that that is
30:37
responsible for Marcus Whitney. right you
30:40
know like if that wasn't there I don't I
30:42
don't know what happens to me and you
30:44
know quite frankly this is just a matter
30:46
of timing
30:46
I'm just 20 years lucky you know what I
30:49
mean
yeah you know I so you know

MBW
that's
30:52
a great way to look at it

MW
yeah when I
30:53
when I hear about the when I hear about
30:56
the numbers in the devastation it does I
30:58
do have a have a sense of guilt so you
31:00
know your perspective was super helpful
31:01
to me so thank you for that man

MBW
yeah dude

MW
31:04
alright that's that's all the time we have
31:06
for today where can people find
31:08
your book I'm gonna promote your socials
31:10
well where can people find your book?

MBW
31:11
greatleaderbook.com or in all the
31:14
major retailers

MW
awesome go out there get
31:17
this book support this this this
31:19
incredible human being good friend of
31:20
mine Mike thanks for being here and
31:22
doing the show you can find Michael
31:25
everywhere online
31:26
Michael Brody-Waite Mike Brody wait
31:28
here's all his socials so check this guy
31:31
out follow him support him his mission
31:33
is really really important I think can
31:35
help a lot of people as always please
31:38
subscribe to my podcast if you think
31:39
about it you can find me on Apple
31:42
podcast Google podcasts Spotify I Heart
31:45
Radio SoundCloud on and on and on and of
31:48
course thank you for watching the show
31:50
whether you're catching it on the replay
31:51
or you're watching it live I appreciate
31:53
you you can find me on Instagram
31:54
Facebook Twitter Linkedin YouTube even
31:57
twitch now which I don't have up here
31:59
but definitely appreciate your time your
32:02
energy it means a lot to me that you're
32:04
spending time with us here today and I
32:06
look forward to seeing you tomorrow for
32:09
yet another episode of Marcus Whitney
32:10
live until then let's building normal
32:13
y'all peace awesome
32:16
[Music]

Leave a Comment